The Front Porch

A True Tale From the Crypt

2012-01-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

I never thought I'd have an adventure at the laundromat but I did. Nothing ever happens at the Wash Hut except washing clothes, yet somehow destiny had decided to change my expectations of doing the laundry.

I was alone in the laundromat switching my clothes from the washer to the dryer. As I was closing the door to the last dryer I looked up and saw the arcade room again. It was a little cave raised up a few steps. As usual I could see a few of the arcade games around the corner and the game called "Tales From The Crypt' prickled my interest the way it always did.

Maybe it was the charm I see in the creepy, and mystical characters from books. Maybe I was caught up in the romance of staring in an actual scary story. Whatever the reason, I made a start to approach the thing.

I first looked around the room to make sure I was alone. I was. Truth be told I felt stupid feeling the way I did about an arcade game -- thinking this was a big moment in my life. But that didn't keep me from imagining that it was.

I took the two stairs that led up into the arcade nook and was not disappointed. Tales From the Crypt was deservedly named. The decaying head of an ancient, but alert man sparked my imagination. His head was surrounded by scenes of terror. People screaming, monsters attacking, a random girl with a chainsaw wearing a bikini.

Then a door slamming out in the laundromat jolted me away from the macabre scenes. I wasn't alone anymore. I poked my head out from the arcade crypt but saw no one. Not risking any chance that something scarier might happen I made a dash for my laundry basket and hurried out the door.

I went back later though. I still had to get my laundry out of the dryer.

Scotty McCreery - Dirty Dishes (Yahoo Music Session)

2012-01-21T18:28:00.000-07:00

Gotta love and live every day.

Boys You Need It -- Practical Dating Advice

2012-01-19T23:25:00.000-07:00

Recently an old friend of my husband's and mine has re-entered the dating scene in full force. He's been out of it for 2 years and now is interested in a girl he knows. He had no idea where to begin.

Sound familiar?

Practical and doable dating tips are all he needs to get going. He asked me for advice and this is what I told him:

1. Ask her on a date: Give her a call, do some small talk, then ask her if she'd like to go on a date with you.

Do's:

Give her a call on the phone or ask her in person
Make sure she knows it's a date - not just a hangout
Give her the details she needs to know about the date -- she should not be surprised when the date comes around.
Ask 2-5 days in advance -- she needs time to plan (if you ask too late, she may already have plans)

Don'ts

Ask her through a text, im, facebook, email etc.

2. Remind her about the date: if you've asked her 4 or 5 days in advance be courteous and shoot her a text, or remind her in person. Short and sweet personable communication is what is called for.

3 Date: from start to finish make sure to do the following

Be on time! (if you are going to be late let her know in advance)
Be a gentleman and open the doors for her, pay for the date
Ask her about herself -- Not an interragation, but be interested in her and remember what she says! Just general courtesy
Be aware of what time she needs to be home -- be conscientious about her schedule.
First date is best not to take her home too late (rule of thumb: no later than 11 pm)
At the end of the date if you'd like to take her out again, test the waters to see her reaction. Say, "I've had a lot of fun tonight. We should do something again."

Judge her reaction to see how she'd react to a second date.

4. Afterward: Don't sweat the small stuff!

It is becoming more widely accepted for the person who was asked on the date to text their date afterward something of a "thank-you" and "I had a lot of fun."

If this doesn't happen, don't sweat! It could be a sign of disinterest, but it could likely be that the girl doesn't do after-the-date texts.

Don't crowd her. After the date, give her 3ish days of space. Don't seek her out, but be friendly if you run into her by chance.

5. Choices: Do I go for it or not yet??

Go for it! (if a good number of below happen)

if girl had a good time on the date
if she texted you to say thank you after the date
if she tries to contact you afterward
if she is open and/or friendly toward you

Hold off..... (if a good number of the below happen) All hope is not lost! Give her mostly space but do a few BRIEF texting convos and "accidental" and BRIEF run ins. Test the waters for another date, and if it's positive, Go For It!

if girl wasn't too excited about first date
if girl isn't open and/or is less friendly toward you
she doesn't text you back

The most important thing to remember is to be polite and courteous. Etiquette will take you a long way. If you are approachable and friendly, girls will like to be around you. (This does NOT, however, mean that you are excessively friendly to every girl. Girls will take you for a big flirt. There is not need to be excessively friendly to get girls to like you.)

And lastly, be yourself! I heard this quote the other day, "Be yourself. No one can tell you you're doing it wrong, and no one can do it better than you."

Happy dating to yall!

Just Married

2012-01-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

I just got married 3 weeks ago tomorrow morning at 10 am. I've been kind of surprised by how easy it is to adjust to living with my husband. Most of the time I hear people talking about how living with someone is hard at first, but so far it's been really good.

The funniest things that have happened, though are usually when we've konked out for the night. I happen to be a very - uh - active sleeper and Jasper sleeps like Dracula in his coffin. I do not wake up for anything, whereas he wakes up if it barely rains outside. So needless to say unconscious bed wars have broken out.

The first night I rolled around until JD was on the very edge of the bed. He was awake all night trying not to fall off.

The next night I very obviously was sleep talking when I told him some provocative things -- that were totally ridiculous and made no sense in the morning. Luckily he realized I was talking in my sleep and told me to go back to bed. Thankfully I don't know anyone who is reading this blog so I feel free to share.

Another night HE took my covers! Yanked them right out of the bottom end of the bed on my side. In the morning he told me he was dreaming that he was pulling a rope.

Last night I was sleeping on a pillow AND under a pillow too. (According to JD I had grabbed them all and stacked them on my head. I still don't know if he was joking...) In the night JD found his pillow (the one on top of my head) and propped his head up on it. Of course I woke up when I found I didn't have oxygen and moaned at him. This morning he told me he got a little freaked out cuz at first he thought his pillow was alive.

This week I'm going to tell my subconscious to calm down and share a little.

Marooned on Mars

2011-12-15T01:16:00.000-07:00

So I was looking through some free fonts online because -- of a long story. And one of the fonts was called Marooned on Mars. And it inspired me. It got me thinking, what would that be like?...

I don't know why I'm here. Lost in space. Well really I do know where I'm at. I'm on Mars. I didn't really deserve this you know. They just left me here. Stranded. I waved and yelled but that didn't do me any good. I didn't do a thing to them, I only told them the truth. I said they surf the teli-vison waves too much to be normal, that they might as well grow some appendages to walk on so they can fit right in with the rest of the earthlings. What!? -- Don't give me that look! I was right! They sneak off in the transporter when Mother leaves for the hunt and they shoot off to the Milky Way 'hood to conduct their "research." They're just wimps. They don't got enough guts to get any closer than Mars. Mother would kill them.

So here I am. Bored out of my viscous juices. For the first hour I just sat here. The next one I laid down spread-octopus. The next one I got creative and stacked rocks. Then I took a nap.

Mother will come and get me. Then the others will just snivel like cowards and act like the humans that they aren't when she punishes them. In the meantime, I'll just sit here. You know what they say, "If you are marooned on mars, lay back and talk to the stars." Whoever it was right. Stars are good listeners. Thanks for listening.

A Day in Wonderland

2011-09-18T15:48:00.000-06:00

Just this past Thursday I went home. I love going home. Every time I visit my mom takes me around and shows me all the projects that she's been working on, and everything she does is so fun and exciting. She's got all kinds of flowers growing in the backyard. Zinnias, alyssums, porchelacas, rudabeckias. Ok so I don't know how to spell any of them, but you still thought I sounded smart, right? Her yard is overflowing with blossoms. I don't know how she does it.
Then she took me back to the garden. Imagine to yourself a secret garden in a sunny spot surrounded by trees. There is an old trampoline frame that surrounds a mass of overgrown Roma Tomatoes, Cherry Tomatoes, Big Ole Fat tomatoes.

Then there are cucumbers, cantelope vines, raspberries, potatoes. But because we live in the mountain area the deer love eat our plants. So my mom and dad mad a huge 8 foot wall surrounding it made out of chicken wire.

It doesn't keep the birds from pecking at the huge sunflowers though. But my mom planted some marigolds around the perimeter for good measure. Apparently deer don't like marigolds. Mom's garden is a wonderland of fun things and we got lost in there for a while picking this and munching on that.

By the time Mom and I left home this past Thursday I went home with a million homemade freezer meals (perfect for a college student like myself),a thousand cherry tomatoes, an eyeful of beautiful flowers, and three starter plants for my own herbal garden for my kitchen: chives, rosemary, and thyme. I want to be my mom when I grow up. She is the ultimate can-do lady. Thanks, Mom. You're such a great example. And you're so fun.

Fall is in the Air

2011-09-12T14:48:00.000-06:00

I am not a fan of the winter, spring is growing on me (no pun intended), summer is always fun, but nothing is like the fall. Last year I had such a good summer that I thought that the fall couldn't top it. But it did. I still love love the fall.

And the best thing is that it's a comin! There is a tree in my parents' backyard that is the the tale tell that summer is coming to an end. The very tippy tops of the tree are turning red. And when I run in the morning I can tell it's getting cooler. And during the day, even though it's bright outside there is still a crispness in the air that is wonderful! I love it.

Maybe I love the fall so much because my birthday is during the fall. Or maybe it's because I love Halloween. Or maybe I love Halloween because my birthday is within a week of it. Either way, both are good reasons to love the fall.

And it's never too early to plan for these things. Jasper and I are already brainstorming about what we want to be for Halloween. And that's not because he loves it. I make him. But I think he secretly likes coming up with ideas that I would never agree to. We made a run to the store for some candy (do NOT go to Smith's. They're a rip off as we found out.) I've also penciled in the travel channel's Ghostly Adventures on Thursday nights too.

I am ready to celebrate!.... spooky things??? And the fall! Love this time of the year!

Dresella, 335 East Cedarbrooke Way

2011-09-02T19:41:00.000-06:00

Dresella, 335 East Cedarbrooke Way

When I run past Dresella every morning the usual thunder of my sneakers on the pavement fades and is lost in the small vineyard in her front yard. Everything is still and the heavy smell of dirt with a hint of weathered wood permeates the fresh morning air.

I've wondered about Dresella. Wondered how she's gotten along but I always run by before I get the cold chills I know will come if I stop on her shady porch. Those walls have stubbornly stood for decades. Many years ago, it was untamed country and Dresella's girl was the first to tame it. A buxom woman, with strong capable hands she was. Can-do to a fault. Confident and willful she had struck out to make something out of nothing but tangled woods and fragile wildflowers.

A gruff but tender man in town had sought her hand but the woman was spiteful of his weakness for her. She looked away and declared that she was not ready for marriage. She was far too independent for a man. Maybe he would learn to get along without her for a time while she left town for the mountains. She'd make a real life there.

The man begged her to reconsider and stay with him. He didn't have much but he'd build her a small but cozy home with bright windows and a front yard full of flowers. With each petition the woman grew colder seeing his weakness bare. At last she left him and turned for the mountains.

All on her own, the woman flattened the trees and cleared the meadows. She slaved in the silence to build Dresella, a house the man could never build for her. A house with tall walls, a spacious porch, broad windows, and worthy of the strong mountains. The yard would be productive with even rows of dark grapes.

Soon after she struck out to the mountains the man who had been searching for her again pleaded for her hand. She scoffed him to scorn and turned away decidedly. Again and again he returned but each time he saw the light in her eyes die and he would turn to leave.

Over the months the man pleaded for her, each time with diminishing hope and vehemence. The woman hardly took notice. she was busy felling the surrounding trees for Dresella. Soon the meadows of wildflowers gave way to straight lines of dark grapes and twisting vines. No matter his pleading she found herself too busy to reconsider.

The man came less and less often. The first full year that the woman did not see the man was a slow one. Dresella was strong and sound, better than any house she could dream of. The vineyard was well kept and more productive than she had hoped. But the silence was wearing without a friend and partner to help her build a home and share the sweet grape juice. She despaired when she saw she had toiled long years pursuing an empty dream and refusing the man who offered so much.

Recently she had begun to hope against hope that her long lost lover may still return and she could make amends. She would look down the pathway to the small town but he was never there -- until one morning while she was working in the vineyard. She straightened stiffly and waited until he approached. He was worn and haggard, but there was a spark in his eyes and a lilted smile when he saw her steady gaze.

The woman was still. For a long moment there was silence. Then the woman looked down. "I cannot give you anything," she said, " for I do not deserve you. But if you are willing to take me anyway, I will give you what little I have. You can take my heart and my hand, and I'll spend my life needing you a little more each day." The man grinned behind his beard and reached for her hand.

It was a long time until the man softly said, "I can't give you a fancy house like this one. But I can give you a warm hearth and conversation. I can't give you a great vineyard, but I can give you these hard hands that won't tire until you're happy."

And from that day she left Dresella, left her vineyard, and left the mountains. The woman and the man shared many happy days together in their little home with beautiful wildflowers in the front yard. As the years went by they became old. But the man didn't tire until she was happy and the woman found she loved him more each day.

And with the years came many more houses. They spread from the small town to the mountains. Dresella went into disrepair until another came and fortified her walls and pruned the vineyard into tidy straight lines. And there she still stands a solitary monument that I run past every day.

Stories From the Front Porch

2011-08-26T22:11:00.000-06:00

Two years ago I started a tradition. I wrote down in every single detail what I envisioned my future home to be like when I grow up and am married. I thought I'd do it every year and see how it changes.

One of the homes that inspired this blog

I haven't given that tradition much thought until recently though. Lately I've been running with my boyfriend, Jasper, through our neighborhood. We live in a run down college town and most of the students live in either apartment complexes or in houses that have been here for ages. And I mean ages! (My roommate's boyfriend lived in a house that was 100 years old! I don't know how it passed the "Soundness Code" or whatever it's called.) But as we're running I like to point out to Jasper all the cute houses in the area and inform him that when I grow up I want a house just like that.

Some of these houses have real character and I wonder what it would be like to live in them. I think to myself, that house is kind of cottage. I bet an old lady lived there many years ago and loved the shade of that tree in the front yard. Or maybe there were kids that lived in that house forever ago and they'd pick the flowers in the yard. That house was definitely the home of a fat guy. Well ok, maybe I didn't think that. But I could! I just wonder what stories happened in that house and who lived there and what were they all about.

So I think this blog is about those houses. I have a plan to go take a picture of a house a week and tell you all how I see the house and what its story is -- or what I envision it to be. I also will just be sharing stories from my life in general. Maybe dreaming up stories about theses houses, their history, and family will help me know what I want for myself when I get my own.